Thursday, June 26, 2008


The bitch! Or (Why doesn’t Horde have as many choke points as the Alliance and they still push our cave back?!)

Not sure how much terrain you guys pay attention to in AV but I have noticed since doing AV regular for the last year or so that there too damn many ally chokepoints for them to be bitching about our cave placement.

“Wait, Alliance can’t rush so they need the choke points!”

As Ratshag would say, Barbelfungger that! Allys first job is to run past every single fortification Horde has and try and take the Frostwolf Relief Hut. Now, when I get out of the cave I head immediately to the RH and stand guard because someone has to throw fits that it is getting zerged! So standard Ally attack pattern for AV is run to Snowfall take graveyard and run to Galv or Iceblood while leaving a small crew to take the two towers there. Also, if they are any good at all, they send at least 5 to RH to try and cap that early and the completely pass up Frostwolf graveyard.

“Can’t Horde do the same thing?”

No, we can’t.

“Why not? Horde used to steamroll alliance on zerg when starting Cave was closer.”

Sometime we did if you silly allys left no Def and I mean none.

One thing you have to realize is that Horde in my battlegroup ALWAYS start the match short. I am sure you have heard me throw fits before and AV is no exception. In AV our normal starting looks like 38 Ally to 26 Horde. No, I am not kidding, exaggerating or making shit up. That’s how it starts and within 5 minutes or so of the match starting it will level out.

“What’s 5 min?”

It’s flippin more than the 30 second head start Horde got with our original starting cave that you dandelion eaters threw greenpeace fits about! OOO move the cave…close it in… we need a Mount Cenariusmore! Flippin Elves!

The Chokepoints!

Horde has a chokepoint in exactly 1 spot! The little path between the through tower and up to the gates of Frostwolf is a death zone if we decide to turtle. However, this path is very much true neutral in that if we get zerged and the RH is taken it becomes a deathtrap for Horde.

“What about the other choke points!?”

There aren’t any! Period. Horde can be ran past instead of through anywhere else on the map. The same can not be said for the alliance side of AV. Hell, going up the path to Stormpike they give you elevated position for hunters and mages!!!! They funnel the poor horde through 2 mountains!!

“But what about going under the bridge?”

FLIPPIN DWARVES!! Do you realize you have FLIPPIN bridge chokepoint too!!! I want a bridge!!! A bridge from Frostwolf Graveyard into our camp instead of Alliance being able to run up a hill and jump the fence!!!

“What about going up and around and dropping behind our graveyard?”

Ya!!! What the hell about it!!! The drop that takes about half life or the one you have to go past the hunters to get to? That one?! You go to hell Alliance!

Whew… had to get that all out.

Now, all that being said, I am still winning about 75% of my AVs.

“That’s the Horde racials!”

Hey Alliance!


Do you know Phillip?


Feel up on these nuts ya dandelion eaters!

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